The Captain's Indulgence
by TyroCat
Summary: Chakotay brings a little surprise to Kathryn's ready room. What other surprises could that lead to? JC.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** This story was originally written back in December 2004 for an online trivia/games group I still belong to. I used the words I garnered from one of the games to inspire me to write 'whatever'. This story was inspired by the words 'goad', 'hobby' and 'drip'...and by reading a lot of Voyager fanfic. This is not the first fanfic I've ever written, but the first I'm posting out here. It seems only fair, as Voyager/JC stories were the first fanfics I started reading.

Feedback welcome!

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"_**The Captain's Indulgence"**_

Kathryn Janeway sat at the desk in her ready room and sifted through the PADDs that contained the latest batch of reports from the various departments on Voyager. Not finding the one report she was looking for, she sighed and prepared to call Neelix on her com badge when the chime at the ready room door sounded.

"Come," she said and the door slid open to admit her First Officer into the room. Chakotay walked up to her desk, carrying a PADD in one hand while holding the other hand behind his back.

"Neelix thought you might be looking for this," Chakotay smiled as he handed her the PADD. "He apologizes for the delay, but hopes the contents of his report more than make up for it."

Chakotay nearly laughed aloud at the hopeful gleam that came into the Captain's eyes at his words. He watched Kathryn eagerly scan through Neelix's report, and he knew the exact moment when she spotted the item she had been searching for.

"He...found...coffee..." Kathryn said reverently, almost in a whisper.

Kathryn's love of coffee was legendary amongst her crew, and the impulse to feed his Captain's addiction (for a caffeinated captain was a happy captain!) led Neelix to keep an eye out for any possible Delta Quadrant equivalent. On trade mission after trade mission, on planet after planet, Neelix was there, ever vigilant - looking for coffee.

"Well, a reasonable facsimile thereof," Chakotay replied, bringing his other hand forward, which held a steaming mug of Neelix's coffee substitute. He gently placed the mug down on the desk, and nearly laughed again at how quickly Kathryn whisked it off the desk.

"Neelix didn't want to disappoint you, so he delayed writing his report until he was sure he'd found the best way to brew the berries. Looks like he succeeded," Chakotay commented.

"Mmmm," Kathryn hummed in agreement, eyes closed as she held the mug in her hands and inhaled the scent of the brew.

Chakotay teased, "I hear it's even better when you actually drink it."

He actually did laugh this time, unable to resist when faced with Kathryn's mock 'death glare'. She smiled at his laughter and lifted the mug in salute. "Only one way to find out," she said and took a sip.

Chakotay's throat tightened at the blissful look that crossed Kathryn's face at that first swallow. He would never have guessed, back during the angry blur of his years fighting the Cardassians, that he would end up once again on a Starfleet ship - and that his favorite pastime would turn out to be watching the Captain of that same starship indulge her passion for a cup of coffee. He supposed it would quickly become his second favorite pastime if Kathryn ever decided to indulge her passion for something - or rather, someone - else.

Kathryn quickly took another sip from the mug, and as she lifted it away from her lips, a little drop of brew trickled from the corner of her mouth and traced a trail down to her chin. Without conscious thought, Chakotay reached out and cupped a hand under Kathryn's chin to catch the drop before it fell.

She looked up at him in surprise and Chakotay tried to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat. "You were enjoying it so much, it seemed a shame to waste even a drop," he murmured.

"Indeed," she replied with an uncertain smile as she searched his eyes for something - then made his heart nearly stop when she tilted her head and kissed the drop of 'coffee' from his palm. "Thank goodness you're here, then."

Kathryn's throat tightened at the shocked, yet hopeful, expression that crossed Chakotay's face as he assessed the potential double meaning to her words. She would never have guessed, back during the strictly regimented years of her early Starfleet career, that she would end up in the Delta Quadrant, 70,000 light years from home - and that her passion for coffee would have been superseded by her passion for something - or rather, someone - else.

Perhaps it was time to indulge...


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** This story was intended as a one-shot back when I first wrote it. When I posted it out here on FFN, I didn't have any intention of changing that. However, a few of you have been kind enough to beg…er, _suggest_ that the story be continued – and that's when the ideas started perking.

_**Feedback welcome!**_

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"_Tuvok to Janeway_…"

The call of the com system shattered the charged silence of the ready room.

Chakotay straightened abruptly and snatched his hand back from Kathryn's chin - the spell broken as he was rudely reminded of exactly where he was. The ready room, the real world, Voyager – where he was her First Officer and her best friend - where she probably would never, could never allow herself to see him as anything else.

He avoided looking in Kathryn's direction as he stepped back from the desk, determined to put on a good front for her as she answered Tuvok's hail.

Kathryn, for her part, had nearly dropped her mug of coffee as she jerked back in surprise, but managed to maintain a shaky grip on its handle long enough to place it safely on her desk. Staring at the mug for a moment, Kathryn took a deep calming breath and let it out slowly, reminding herself of exactly where she was. The ready room, the Delta Quadrant, Voyager – where she was his Captain and his best friend – where she had no right, had no reason to presume that she was entitled to anything else.

She avoided looking in Chakotay's direction as she finally raised her head, determined to ignore the current distraction of his presence as she answered Tuvok's hail.

"Janeway here. What can I do for you, Tuvok?"

Despite her determination, Kathryn couldn't help sneaking a glance at her First Officer as she waited for a response. She caught the twinkle in his eyes as he whispered "Nice save" and nodded towards the coffee mug on her desk. She glanced down, then back up at him – shaking her head and smiling wryly in comprehension.

"_Captain, we are in the approved orbit around Semalfon. The representative from the Trade Council has contacted us and is requesting to speak to you, prior to the formal negotiations_."

News of the planet Semalfon had seemed like a godsend to Voyager's beleaguered crew and its equally beleaguered supply of dilithium. The last planet that they'd traded with had had many of the items they'd been seeking, but not a bit of that precious ore. Their trading partners had steered them toward Semalfon. The planet, however, though rich in minerals, had soon revealed itself to be rich in bureaucratic minutiae and diplomatic protocols as well.

"Fine, Tuvok. I'll take it in here. Just give me a moment."

After closing the com channel, Kathryn sighed and tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, mentally girding herself for the upcoming discussion. "This isn't going to be easy."

"When has it ever been, Captain?" she heard Chakotay ask in an amused tone.

Kathryn blew out a breathy chuckle. "Just once, just once…at this point, I'd settle for just once," she replied. "We're entitled to that, don't you think?"

"You sound like you're not looking forward to this," Chakotay commented with feigned surprise.

Kathryn straightened in her seat and threw him a dirty look. "Would you be? For heaven's sake, Chakotay, they've got ten different ways to say hello based on one's social standing and gender - and that's before we even get to the actual negotiations! You think it's going to be such a fun time, I should make you do it instead."

"But I'm not the one they want to talk with," Chakotay grinned. "Apparently I don't rate high enough."

Kathryn could hardly imagine him rating any higher in her own opinion, but refrained from saying that out loud. "Fine, then," she said, pouting. "Anything else before you abandon me here and head back out on the Bridge?"

"Can I tempt you into joining me later for lunch down in the messhall?" Chakotay smiled engagingly. "I hear Neelix has found an entirely new way to ruin something with leola root."

Kathryn laughed. "Well, when you put it that way, how can I possibly resist? Besides, it'll give me a chance to thank him for his first great Delta Quadrant success!" She picked up her coffee mug and raised it in salute.

"Around 13:00, then?" Chakotay asked, as he started to turn toward the ready room door.

"See you then, Commander. I'll let you know if I'm running late."

Chakotay smiled and nodded, then headed out of the ready room.

Kathryn took a sip of coffee and admired her First Officer's buttocks as he walked out. Though not necessarily her favorite feature of his, it was one of the few she could ogle openly in relative safety. Indulging in a bit of fantasy, she imagined that he was wearing his Maquis leather pants instead of his current regulation Starfleet attire. Ah, that wonderfully skin-tight Maquis leather that he'd worn when they first met! She wondered idly if asking Chakotay to model it for her sometime would require the redefinition of a few parameters…


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** Thanks for the words of encouragement! As I noted before, it had been almost two years since I'd written the original story (Chapter 1), and I hadn't written any new stories in just about that long – so it's been an interesting experience getting back into practice and picking up the threads where I'd left off.

_**Feedback welcome!**_

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As it turned out, it was Chakotay who ran late for their lunch date in the messhall…

He had stayed on the Bridge only as long as it took to nod to Tuvok in the command chair and cross the upper level to the hallway that led to the conference room and the XO's office. Chakotay had returned to his office – and to the crew evaluations he'd been slogging through before he'd been interrupted by Neelix's errand.

Well, perhaps 'interrupted' was the wrong word – he had, in fact, been rather eager to make the coffee delivery to the ready room after Neelix had turned in his report. Neelix himself had suggested, almost insisted, that Chakotay be the one to make the presentation to the Captain – though Chakotay was certain that the Talaxian would have dearly enjoyed seeing Kathryn's reaction firsthand. Had Neelix had any inkling of what he might unleash with his errand? Was that devious little alien still trying to play matchmaker, even after all this time?

And, if so, were Neelix's efforts always to be thwarted by Tuvok's untimely interference?

Chakotay sighed as he recalled the brief magical moment that had been interrupted by Tuvok's hail. That brief magical moment in which he'd allowed himself to forget the ship, to forget protocol, to forget parameters. That brief magical moment in which he'd caught a glimpse of that same forgetfulness in Kathryn.

"Tuvok to Janeway…" 

How quickly they'd retreated to the safety of their positions and their friendship after that!

Not that Chakotay didn't appreciate what he currently had with Kathryn. On the contrary - he savored every moment of it. He truly cherished the ease of their working relationship, the depth of their friendship, and the light flirtatious banter that often crept into each. Would he like more? Certainly someday, when Kathryn was ready – _if_ Kathryn was ready - but he refused to dwell on the possibilities to the point where they threatened to spoil what was already there. He was content.

Even so, he'd been hard-pressed to be civil to Tuvok after his call to the ready room. If annoyance and frustration could have been converted into a phaser, Chakotay could easily have fried the Vulcan to a crisp where he sat on the Bridge – or at least stunned him into next week!

Chakotay had shaken his head to clear his thoughts and had immersed himself in his work. So thoroughly did he become wrapped up in the crew evaluations that when he looked up idly at one point to check the time, he was surprised to see that it was already 13:05 – five minutes past the time he was supposed to meet Kathryn! He quickly saved the evaluation he was working on and hustled to the turbolift, hoping for once that Kathryn was also running late.

As he entered the messhall, Chakotay heard the sound of Kathryn talking with Neelix in the galley and he smiled. Guess she'd beaten him here after all. With her workaholic habits, that didn't happen often. Usually he was the one left waiting, having to call her over the com system to remind her of some appointment or other.

It was only as he neared the galley entrance that he began to hear actual words - but he was sure he already knew what the topic of conversation was.

-----

"…Like I mentioned in my report, they do consume the berries of the qahwa plant, but not as a beverage."

"Almost unfathomable, Neelix."

"It's true, Captain. At the meeting I had with the Tsal agriculture minister, he had a bowl of these berries on his desk and was downing them like…like… like Tom Paris with a tub of popcorn at one of his old movies. I tried one and the taste reminded me of your coffee beans. I nearly spit it out, but the minister was looking right at me. Nasty, bitter flavor, I'm sorry to say, Captain. I've never enjoyed it myself…"

Kathryn smiled at the expression on Neelix's face as she was reminded of her own introduction to leola root.

"…But I know _you_ do, so I asked him about the berries. He was surprised to learn that I was thinking of brewing them, but then I suppose we'd be equally surprised if the Tsals wanted to drink a nice steaming cup of popcorn tea," Neelix said cheerily.

"Your report said you'd traded for quite a cache of qahwa."

"Oh indeed, Captain. You'll be happy to know that we now have enough mature berries to keep up with your coffee consumption for at least a couple of months." Neelix puffed out his chest with pride and added, "We also obtained several seedlings and juvenile plants that we're going to be working with in the hydroponics bay. With any luck, we'll be able to keep you in fresh coffee for years to come!"

Kathryn blinked at the twinge of sadness that hit her at Neelix's last statement. Lord, she hoped they'd be back in the Delta Quadrant long before this latest coffee supply threatened to run out – but bless his little Talaxian heart, how she did appreciate Neelix's effort on her behalf!

In an unthinking rush of gratitude, Kathryn leaned over and gave Neelix a quick hug. It wasn't quick enough, however, to escape Chakotay's attention as he drew near.

"I thought I heard you in here," she heard Chakotay remark as she leaned back. She turned around and saw him standing in the entrance to the galley, arms crossed and smirking. "Hugging the help, Captain? Should I be jealous?"

Before Kathryn could answer, Neelix piped up, "Oh, no need for that, Commander. I'm sure the Captain has plenty of hugs left for you!"

Kathryn's eyes flew wide open and she felt a warm blush rise in her cheeks as she nearly choked on the words she'd been about to speak. She caught a flash of Chakotay's teeth in a wide grin as she whipped her attention around to Neelix.

Facing the innocent-looking Talaxian, Kathryn felt doubly embarrassed as she fumbled for the words to get herself out of the situation. "Well, I, uh, again just wanted to, um, thank you…for your hard work with the coffee. It was…is delicious…and, um, well…good job!"

"Thank you, Captain," Neelix replied. "Could I, perhaps, interest you and the Commander in a pot along with a couple of plates of today's special? I'll bring it right out to your table."

"Thank you, Neelix, that will be fine," Kathryn said, then turned to exit the galley. As she approached him, Chakotay stepped aside and gestured for her to precede him into the main room.

While walking over to their usual table, Kathryn groused, "Well, _that_ was real smooth. I must have sounded like an idiot back there…back when Neelix said..."

"You were fine," Chakotay assured her.

"Yeah? Well, you were late," she snapped back.

"Well, I was working."

"And I was thanking Neelix."

"Is _that_ what that was?"

"Jealous much?"

"With Neelix around? All the time."

"Very funny."

Kathryn and Chakotay arrived at their table and sat down. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Chakotay tilted his head slightly and pursed his lips as he looked across the messhall. "I was just wondering, though," he said softly, trailing off.

"What?"

"Was Neelix right? Do you, Kathryn?"

"Do I what?"

Chakotay leaned in close to avoid any prying ears and asked in a low, deep voice, "Have plenty of hugs left for me?"

Kathryn inhaled sharply and felt a delicious little shiver run down her spine at his words before she turned her head to catch a teasing grin on Chakotay's face.

"Oh, stow it, Commander," she retorted.

Chakotay threw his head back and roared with laughter. Kathryn tried to scowl at him but found his laughter too infectious to resist. The pair was consumed by the fit of humor for about a minute before the guffaws faded to chuckles, then to titters and finally to amused sighs as they began to catch their breath.

"Okay, okay, enough of that now, smart aleck," Kathryn muttered good-naturedly, wanting to put their conversation on a more professional tack. "Tell me, how are the evaluations coming along?"

"I'm about a quarter of the way through them. I would have been further along, but we just _had_ to make that stop at Tsal, and I just _had_ to put them aside in order to coordinate the supply requisitions from the departments – you know, all those pesky little administrative details that go along with every trade mission," Chakotay smiled. "Speaking of which, how did your discussion go with the Semalfonees trade representative?"

"I really _should_ make you do this instead."

"That well?"

"We talked for an hour and a half – fifteen minutes of which was that whole 'hello' business and ritual greeting – and the _last_ fifteen minutes were spent saying 'goodbye' in their own inimitable fashion." Kathryn rolled her eyes. "I swear, if we didn't need the dilithium so damn bad, I'd be tempted to tell them _exactly_ where they could stick their diplomatic protocols."

"Tsk, tsk, Kathryn. Most uncaptainlike," Chakotay teased. "I assume, since you managed to stifle that impulse, that we have clearance for further negotiations?"

"Of course. And they'll be spread out over three fun-filled days," Kathryn groaned. "I'm allowed three others with me. I'm taking Tuvok - I don't care! I'm going to need that Vulcan stoicism next to me if I'm going to stay sane."

"You _could_ take your ever loyal and ever supportive First Officer along to serve in that capacity," Chakotay hinted.

"I _could_," Kathryn replied with a smirk, "but apparently you don't rate high enough for them, remember?"

Chakotay raised an eyebrow in an amused salute. "So you're taking Tuvok. Who else?"

"I thought I'd take Neelix. He's an alien in these parts too, but he _is_ our Delta Quadrant 'ambassador' – and the Semalfonees representative seemed to appreciate that connection, albeit remote, when it was brought up."

"And your third?"

"I don't know. They say I'm allowed a bodyguard. I'll ask Tuvok to assign someone."

"Take Ayala."

Kathryn raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Ayala? Why?"

"Why not? He's an excellent officer."

"You just want to have a Maquis watching my back on this mission, don't you?"

"Absolutely. He's watched my back plenty of times over the years - and if you won't take _this_ Maquis…" Chakotay placed his palm against his chest.

"Enough with the hinting," Kathryn chuckled. "Fine, I'll take Ayala."

"Here we go, Captain! Your lunch!" Neelix announced as he arrived at their table bearing a fully laden tray. He placed a plate filled with an indeterminate entrée before each of them, along with utensils, two empty mugs and the promised pot of coffee. Kathryn tried to concentrate on the intoxicating aroma wafting from the pot, but an odd acrid smell was interfering – rising up from the plate and making her nose crinkle in confusion.

"So, what have you prepared for us today?" Chakotay asked Neelix, gesturing at the plates.

"Leola root surprise!" Neelix exclaimed. "I've been working on the recipe for a while. The crew seems to like it – there's been a lot of buzzing going on in the messhall today!"

"Thank you, Neelix," Kathryn managed to say past her dismay at the prospect of eating the dreaded vegetable. "I'm sure your culinary effort will be as…delicious as ever."

Neelix bowed slightly and hurried back to the galley as he noticed a new group of crewmembers entering the messhall.

"Spoken like a true diplomat, Kathryn," Chakotay commented with a grin. He picked up a fork and poked it around in the mass on his plate. "I wonder what the surprise is?"

"If we're lucky, it's that it has no leola root in it whatsoever," Kathryn muttered. She picked up a fork and took an experimental bite. "No such luck," she grimaced, pushing the plate away and reaching for a mug and the pot of liquid salvation.

Kathryn watched, and became almost totally absorbed in the deep, dark flow of coffee as it poured into her mug - barely remembering to tip the pot up in time to avoid a spill. She wrapped her hands reverently around the mug and savored the rich scent of the qahwa brew.

"I think we've been here before," Chakotay said softly. "Would you and your coffee like to be alone?"

Kathryn looked up, and became almost totally absorbed in the deep, dark glow in Chakotay's eyes as he gazed at her – barely remembering to breathe. She tightened her grip on the mug as she resisted the impulse to wrap her hands around Chakotay's - and answered his question.

"Never…"

_TBC…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** This chapter was written over the course of a few days of intense plotting and revision. It was completed, in part, due to the support of my reviewers – but also due to the inspiration provided by several cups of coffee and a few bowls of Edy's espresso chip ice cream!

_**Feedback welcome!**_

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_"Never? I don't know, Kathryn," Chakotay said. "You've got your coffee now…is there any room left for me?…"_

The knocking on the chamber door startled Kathryn out of her slumber and she rose slowly from her awkward sprawl on the couch. The rays of the Semalfonees sun shining through the window hit her full in the face as she stood, causing her eyes to close swiftly in response even as she was trying to shake the sleepiness from them. Kathryn stretched her arms over her head, easing the tightness in her shoulders and back, feeling the muscles protesting the positions they'd been forced into during the night. She lowered her arms and looked around the room, briefly acquainting herself with the quarters she'd been too distracted to pay much attention to the previous evening. A long, jaw-cracking yawn completed her waking ritual as she reviewed the situation.

After her lunch with Chakotay, Kathryn had returned to her ready room to pore over her notes from the discussion with the Semalfonees trade representative. She'd prepared a list of the mission protocols that the two of them had somehow managed to hammer out in between the tedious, yet requisite, diplomatic niceties and sent a copy to Chakotay and each member of the away team. She'd then scheduled a meeting in the conference room for later that afternoon – where the five of them had gone over the protocols and discussed potential problems before the members of the away team headed down to Semalfon for the duration of the three-day mission.

Kathryn had felt unsettled by her behavior at lunch – hell, by her behavior of the past few hours! – and could not account for it. She acknowledged that she'd felt a deep _something_ for Chakotay for a few years now, but never before had she felt it bubble so uncontrollably close to the surface. Chakotay's behavior too, though not quite uncharacteristic, had definitely skirted closer to the edges of their mutually understood parameters than usual. During the meeting, however, he had been the consummate First Officer, sitting calmly at her left, listening attentively, contributing where necessary – his face betraying absolutely no trace of anything but concern for the success of the mission. It wasn't until after the meeting, as they trailed the other officers out of the conference room, that she caught any glimpse of what else had been going on in his mind…

_"Are you sure you're going to be able to handle the deprivation, Captain?" Chakotay asked cryptically as they stood up from their seats at the conference room table._

_"The deprivation?"_

_"You _were_ paying attention just now? You did read your own report?"_

_"Of course I did, Commander," Kathryn replied, mystified and irritated at her First Officer's insinuation that she'd missed something. "I just don't know what you're talking about."_

_"So you noted the section where foreign trade delegations are required to remain on the planet's surface during the entire course of the negotiations?"_

_"Of course. We may have communications contact with the ship, but must physically remain the guests of the Semalfonees for anything short of one of the emergency situations on their pre-approved list," she recited dutifully._

_"And that all food and drink served on the planet will be provided by the Semalfonees themselves?"_

_"That's just good business. They want to promote _their_ stuff – not_ _compete with ours. As Tom Paris might say, it's the old 'you can't bring your own popcorn to the movie' clause'."_

_"And that those delegations are prohibited from importing any foreign flora, fauna or other organic materials that are not already on the trade schedule – or that are not deemed necessary for the personal survival of the delegation members – i.e. medicines?"_

_"Yes, yes, I got all that," Kathryn snapped. "They're paranoid and particular. What's your point?"_

_"Three days, Kathryn. Think about it. The last time I checked, coffee wasn't classified as a medicine," Chakotay smirked as they walked through the conference room door. "Are you sure Tuvok's going to be able to keep you sane through both the Semalfonees _and_ coffee withdrawal?"_

_"Hey! Why does everyone think I'm this rabid coffee addict who'll bite anyone's head off if I don't have my recommended daily allowance?" Kathryn protested._

_"Because you are," Chakotay teased. "Heaven help the hapless crewman who got in your way when you ran out of replicator rations at the end of the month!"_

_"Hmmph!"_

_"You know, Captain, you say the word and I'll swap places with Tuvok in a nanosecond!" Chakotay offered as they continued down the hall towards the Bridge. "No…on second thought, I'll swap with Ayala." He bent his head down until he was whispering almost directly in her ear, "I'm certainly willing to serve as your bodyguard."_

_"Stop pitching, Commander," Kathryn whispered back, a lopsided grin turning up the corners of her mouth. "You've already got a job to do."_

_"Yes, but right now, I'd rather have his."_

_Kathryn turned her head to the left, prepared to scold her First Officer for his persistence until she was stopped by the sparkle she saw in Chakotay's eyes…his dark brown eyes…his _coffee_ brown eyes. Somewhere in the distance, she thought she heard Tuvok calling her. "Captain…Captain…"_

"Captain!" The knocking was back, more insistent this time. "Captain!" She recognized Lieutenant Ayala's voice through the door. "Are you alright in there?"

"I'm fine, Lieutenant, just fine," Kathryn called back. "Just give me a second. I'll be right there." She looked down at the uniform she had fallen asleep in, now hopelessly wrinkled by her night on the couch, and put a hand up to her hair to confirm its state of disarray. No time to fix herself up properly – she just hoped she didn't scare the bejeezus out of the lieutenant with her new 'look'.

When Kathryn finally opened the chamber door, her Security officer wisely made no comment on her appearance. Instead, he gestured to the manservant behind him who was bearing a tray holding a small kettle of what appeared to be hot water, a cup, a covered dish and a bowl filled with packets that reminded her of the lavender sachets she used to scent her bathwater. "Captain, your morning refreshments," Ayala announced, bowing stiffly as he addressed her. "Everything has been checked and is satisfactory. Per your request, the tea has been kept separate so that you may prepare it yourself."

_Request? Tea?_ "Um…okay…thank you, Lieutenant," Kathryn replied. "That was…uh…very conscientious of you." She stepped to the side and watched as the servant scuttled in, set the tray on the table by the couch, and scuttled back out, bowing quickly to the Starfleet officers as he left.

When she was sure they were alone, Kathryn turned to Ayala. "An explanation, Lieutenant. Just what request of mine are we talking about? What exactly am I preparing for myself?"

"Well, it won't be that _tea_, Captain," the officer replied, nodding toward the packets on the tray. "And technically, it wasn't your request - it was Commander Chakotay's."

Kathryn crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "What has the Commander done now?"

"It's not so much what he's done, Captain, as what he asked me to do," Ayala said mysteriously. He reached inside his jacket, pulled out a small foil pouch and handed it to her. "He asked me to deliver this."

As Kathryn inspected the pouch and prepared to rip it open, Ayala cautioned, "I'd be careful opening that, Captain. You don't want to spill any."

"Spill any what?"

"Instant qahwa."

"_What_?!" Kathryn nearly shouted before remembering who and where she was. "What?" she repeated at a lower volume.

"Instant qahwa, Captain. Neelix said that he'd started working on freeze-drying the qahwa once he'd figured out how to brew it in the first place. I guess he thought it would come in handy during away missions when you couldn't get to the real thing."

"But you said this was Commander Chakotay's idea."

"Well, Captain, before you got to the transporter room yesterday, the Commander caught Neelix trying to sneak this down in his bags," Ayala revealed. "Neelix said it was for you, that you couldn't possibly be expected to go three whole days without coffee. The Commander complimented him on his thoughtfulness, but said it was against the rules of this mission and we couldn't risk getting caught with it down here."

"And yet here we are, and I'm holding it as we speak," Kathryn pinched the pouch between her thumb and forefinger and lifted it to show the Security officer, the look on her face demanding further explanation.

"The Commander gave it to me before I stepped onto the transporter pad, Captain. He agreed with Neelix that it was essential that you have your coffee - and that while he was sure that Neelix could be sneaky enough in _most_ situations," Ayala paused, "he believed that _this_ matter was best handled as a Maquis operation."

"Hmmph! I see that I'll have to have a little talk with the Commander later," Kathryn said between clenched teeth. "Anything else?"

"The Commander said that you might want to make yourself a cup before the water gets too cold."

Kathryn pursed her lips in anger. "Thank you, Lieutenant. You're dismissed. Be back here in a half-hour with the others."

"Aye, Captain."

After Lieutenant Ayala left the room, Kathryn sighed and looked with dismay at the troublesome packet in her fingers. What was she supposed to do with it _now_? Turn it in to the Semalfonees? Hide it in her bags?

_You could drink it_, the insidious thought crept into her mind. _What better way to get rid of the_ _evidence?_

_But that would be like admitting that Chakotay wasn't wrong_, Kathryn argued with herself.

_So he's wrong. So deal with him later, like you said. Right now, why waste a perfectly good cup of coffee?_

_Well, I'll at least open the packet and check it out_, she conceded. _If it doesn't look or smell right, I won't even think of drinking it. I'll hide it in my bags and cross my fingers that the Semalfonees never find out about it. If it seems okay, however, it's probably best to get rid of the evidence as quickly and efficiently as possible._ She knew she was rationalizing the decision to herself, but she really _could_ use a nice fortifying cup of coffee before the day's program of events.

She tore off a corner of the foil pouch and sniffed at the contents. A rich wave of scent flooded her nostrils and she closed her eyes in sheer pleasure. In her mind, she could see Chakotay's face floating before her, his coffee brown eyes gazing at her affectionately, his lips turned up in a soft smile.

_Oh, Ch__akotay, what am I going to do with you?…_

_TBC…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** Thanks for the reviews and words of encouragement. They really helped me get back into this chapter after I'd had to set it aside for a few days.

I'm also upgrading the rating on this to 'K+' for language, just to be safe - as our favorite duo seems to be throwing around a few more 'hells' and 'damns' than usual.

_**Feedback welcome!**_

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_"Janeway to Chakotay..."_

The blare of the com system startled Chakotay awake, and his head nearly hit the desktop as his elbow slid to the side, and the palm in which he'd been resting his chin was jerked out from under it. Recovering his balance, he put his fingertips to his forehead, rubbing slightly, and furiously blinked the sleep from his eyes as he tried to recall where he was and what he had been doing. A slow turning of his head revealed PADDs scattered across the desktop in front of him, next to a cup of cold spiced tea. The remains of a plate of vegetable lasagna sat on the dining table across the room. Ah, he was in his quarters then – and he'd obviously fallen asleep during the tedium of crew evaluations.

After leaving the conference room together the day before, the command team had parted ways on the Bridge – Kathryn entering the turbolift, heading down to her quarters to pack for the mission, and Chakotay finishing out the remainder of his shift on the Bridge. When his shift was over, Chakotay had made the trip down to the transporter room - where he'd caught Neelix rather clumsily trying to hide some foil pouches in his bags before the Captain arrived. After Neelix had confessed to the content of the pouches and his reason for the attempted subterfuge, Chakotay had quietly and carefully scolded the Talaxian, not wanting to quash his inherently thoughtful nature. Neelix had looked properly penitent as he'd surrendered the contraband qahwa and taken a spot up on the transporter pad.

While waiting for Kathryn to arrive, Chakotay had contemplated the packets in his hand. What was he supposed to do with them now? Return them to the galley? Stash them in his quarters in anticipation of his next working dinner with Kathryn?

_You could give them to Kathryn,_ the insidious thought had crept into his mind. _Why wait for that dinner when she needs them now? Neelix had the right idea, you know. Can you honestly see her going three whole days without coffee?_

_She'd never take them,_ Chakotay had argued with himself. _She'd never risk the negotiations that way._

_What's the greater risk? Dealing with those bureaucrats down on the planet, you _know_ she's going to need a really good cup of coffee. Do you really want her on this mission without it? Just use a little of that Maquis stealth you're so famous for and they'll never find out. What better way to show her that you care, that you're looking out for her?_

Chakotay had known he was rationalizing the decision to himself, but at that moment, it seemed that he could do nothing else. He'd subconsciously tightened his grip on the packets as he caught Lieutenant Ayala's eye and motioned him over.

With the arrival of morning had come some measure of sanity. Upon waking and realizing what he'd done, Chakotay had bolted upright in bed, a horrified look upon his face. What had he been thinking? He'd acted like a man possessed last evening – hell, for the whole of yesterday! - and he couldn't account for it. He acknowledged that he'd felt a deep _something_ for Kathryn for a few years now, but never before had he allowed it to push him beyond the bounds of their normal relationship, into such blatant flirting and disregard for rules and regulations. What was wrong with him?

_The coffee…Kathryn…_ Chakotay had wondered desperately if there was time to stop Ayala from carrying out his ill-considered plan. Just as he'd reached for his combadge on the nightstand, he'd gotten his answer…

"_Ayala to Commander Chakotay," the combadge sounded just as his fingertips brushed it._

_Chakotay snatched up the device and responded with some trepidation. "Chakotay here."_

"_Mission accomplished, Commander."_

_Chakotay felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. Damn. "How did it go?" he asked the Security officer._

_A long pause. "Permission to speak freely, Commander?"_

_Uh-oh, that wasn't good. "Of course, Lieutenant."_

_Another pause. "You're gonna get an earful, man. The Captain was _not_ happy."_

_Chakotay sighed. "Understood. Did the Semalfonees find out?"_

_"_Those_ overstuffed bureaucrats…sniff out a _Maquis_ job? Of course not," Ayala replied._

_Good. At least he wouldn't be suffering Kathryn's wrath on that point. "Still, I guess you'd better hide the rest of the stash in a secure spot until this mission is over, Lieutenant. It sounds like I've pushed my luck with the Captain far enough as it is."_

_"Aye, sir. They'll never find it. Ayala out."_

Chakotay knew that, according to her usual practice on this type of mission, Kathryn would be contacting him after the day's negotiations had finished to consult on the points already discussed, and to map out the points they still needed to cover with the Semalfonees trade reps. He also knew that Kathryn would have a few extra items on her agenda that evening – items just for _him_. Chakotay had spent the rest of the day dreading her inevitable hail – feeling as if the sword of Damocles itself was hanging over his head. How angry would Kathryn be? What kind of damage had he done?

_"Janeway to Chakotay. Commander, is it your intention to make your position even _more_ tenuous by ignoring me?"_

_Oh, damn._ On top of everything else, he'd forgotten that he'd been awakened by her call in the first place. He was immediately and fully alert – and although Kathryn couldn't see him, Chakotay automatically straightened up in his chair as if she had just stepped into the room.

"I'm sorry, Captain," he responded. "I'd fallen asleep in the middle of crew evaluations and it took me a little longer than usual to gather my wits about me."

"_You're still in your office at this hour? You're almost into Gamma shift and you accuse _me_ of being a workaholic,"_ Kathryn commented, almost accusingly.

"Actually, I've been in my quarters for a few hours now. I figured I'd get a little more work done down here, away from the interruptions. Speaking of work," Chakotay added, "how did it go with the Semalfonees today?"

"_About as I expected, although I might have felt in a stronger bargaining position if I hadn't had to worry about them discovering your little foray into smuggling,"_ Kathryn replied, her anger evident in the tightness of her voice. _"Commander, you _do_ realize what kind of a spot you put me in, don't you?"_

Chakotay grimaced and tugged on his earlobe as he wondered how to answer her question. He should have known that she wouldn't go for his dodge - that she'd want to get right into his lapse of judgment. He determined to face whatever punishment he received like a man; he was guilty, after all, and of the same offense that he'd cautioned Neelix against. He'd chastised Neelix, albeit gently, for his attempt – how much more of a tongue-lashing could he himself expect from Kathryn after his own 'success'?

"I think so, Captain. I do apologize."

"_Apologies are all fine and dandy, Commander, but they'd have meant little to the Semalfonees if we'd gotten caught with the stuff,"_ Kathryn snapped. _"At best, it would have seriously compromised our ability to trade on favorable terms with them. At worst, it could have caused our negotiations to be suspended entirely. The Semalfonees, by right, could have sent us packing – _without_ the dilithium we need so badly, and _without_ the guarantee that we would find another source anytime soon!"_

Chakotay winced at Kathryn's scolding. Even from the planet's surface, her words whipped him with a painful, righteous sting.

"_And another thing. A 'Maquis operation', Commander?"_ Kathryn asked harshly. _"I don't think you fully appreciate how it complicates things by involving Lieutenant Ayala so obviously in your little errand. Voyager doesn't run under two sets of rules – one that applies to the original Starfleet crew and one that applies only to the former Maquis. I told you at the beginning; this ship will be run with one crew – a _Starfleet_ crew. Much as I appreciate some of the skills that your backgrounds enabled you to acquire, I will _not_ spend the rest of this voyage allowing the former Maquis to pick and choose which of my orders they will follow!"_

Chakotay's eyes widened in shock at Kathryn's rant. He hadn't even anticipated her objections in this area. As the former captain of Voyager's Maquis crewmembers, Chakotay knew that he would always feel some special awareness of and responsibility towards them. However, this most recent incident aside, it had been a long time since he'd consciously considered whether a particular crewmember had entered the Delta Quadrant on his ship or on Kathryn's. _Spirits!_ Along with the risk to the trade mission, had he also endangered Kathryn's trust in half of Voyager's crew?

"_I assume that there will be no repeat of this incident during the rest of this mission, Commander – or during any future mission?"_ It was less a question than a command.

"None whatsoever, Captain," Chakotay assured her.

There was a long pause over the com system, then Chakotay heard Kathryn sigh before saying, _"Then I suppose that there's no need for an official reprimand at this point, is there?"_

"Captain?" Chakotay asked in surprise.

"_Well, Chakotay, how the hell am I supposed to write you up when I drank the damned stuff myself?"_ Kathryn complained, frustrated at her situation. _"Do you know how angry I want to be with you right now? And I can't, because that would make me even more of a hypocrite than I am already!"_

Before Chakotay could respond to her last statement, Kathryn continued, in a softer, plaintive tone, _"I don't like it, Chakotay. I don't like being angry with you. I don't like having to be the 'angry Captain' with you. You _do_ understand that, don't you?"_

Noting the mild sorrow in her voice, Chakotay knew that he was hearing from his best friend now, and not Voyager's captain. "I do - and I'm sorry," he replied contritely. "I'm supposed to be making your burden lighter, and here I am, adding to it."

"_Just don't let it happen again, okay, mister?"_ Kathryn sighed. _"Much as I appreciate the gesture, I really don't want to go through all of that again. I need you too much to keep bailing you out of the brig."_

"So I'm going to the brig?"

"_Not this time, but I can't guarantee the future, especially if you decide to pull any more stunts like this_ _one,"_ Kathryn warned lightly.

"Nope, no more stunts like this one," Chakotay promised. "Any future stunts will be entirely original – and strictly according to regulations."

Chakotay wondered where he'd gotten the nerve to tease Kathryn so soon after her tirade - so he was heartened by the sound of her laughter floating over the com. Perhaps he hadn't completely screwed up after all. He smiled in relief and leaned back in his chair.

"It's good to hear you laugh," Chakotay said warmly. "Dare I take this to mean that you're not irrecoverably mad at me?"

"_I _should_ be, but no,"_ Kathryn complained lightly. _"How _can_ I be? That coffee was too good, damn you. Even now, over twelve hours later, when I close my eyes, I can still taste it…I can still smell it…hell, I can almost feel myself drinking it."_ Kathryn paused, and Chakotay pictured her standing in her quarters down on the planet, eyes closed, hands clenched around an imaginary mug and lips turned up in a rapturous smile. He suddenly ached for the day when a similar smile would be meant for him.

Kathryn continued speaking, apparently oblivious to Chakotay's side trip into fantasy. _"Not that it should matter how good the coffee was. As the Captain, I _know_ I shouldn't let you off so easily - but as Kathryn? I honestly don't know whether to thank you or spank you."_

"Do I get a choice?" Chakotay asked softly, emboldened by his daydream.

The silence over the com made Chakotay nervous, wondering once again at the powerful new _something_ that was possessing him to push against those old boundaries, test those old protocols, rattle against those old parameters. He suddenly felt like an explorer on the verge of a major discovery – not sure whether the path he'd just stepped upon would lead him to destiny or disaster.

Chakotay's introspection was interrupted by the sound of Kathryn's naturally husky voice, which seemed to his ears to have become several degrees huskier. _"I'll let you know when I get back..."_

_TBC…_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** This chapter is dedicated to the memory of a certain 20-oz. cup of Wawa hazelnut coffee – and the horrible waste that ensued when structural integrity failure of the paper cup's bottom caused the contents to spill out over my lap while driving to work!

_**Feedback welcome!**_

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A swirling of light surrounding her, a tingling at the edges of each nerve fiber in her body, a split second of oblivion - then the beam released its hold, and Kathryn Janeway found herself staring at the familiar walls of Voyager's transporter room. The officer at the control panel greeted her with the obligatory "Welcome back, Captain", which she answered with a nod and the usual "Thank you, it's good to be back" before turning to acknowledge the rest of her away team.

It was late in the evening of the third day; the trade mission to Semalfon was finally complete and the team had managed to acquire enough dilithium to keep Voyager running for at least a few months. It was not a comfortable amount that they now held in storage – they'd still have to keep a sharp eye out for the next available source of the precious mineral – but they could breathe a lot easier in the meantime. Kathryn supposed it was worth going through all of those hassling negotiations for even that small peace of mind.

_Peace of mind_, Kathryn mused. It was not something she'd experienced a lot of, particularly within the last few days. The irritations of the Semalfonees bureaucrats couldn't even touch the agitation going on within her own mind. On the first day, she'd actually welcomed the distraction of all the haggling and nit-picking and clauses and codicils – and convinced herself that the unsettled state of her nerves was due to her concern over her crew's illicit importation of the instant qahwa. During the second day, she'd chalked up her distress to caffeine withdrawal; she'd been without coffee for over twenty-four hours, after all. The Semalfonees 'lavender' tea had provided her with no stimulation whatsoever and had tasted about as appetizing as the bathwater she would rather have soaked the tea bags in.

By the third day, however, Kathryn could no longer fool herself. Her agitated mental state had only one cause and, it seemed, one cure – Chakotay.

That first evening, it had truly pained her to take her First Officer to task for his transgression. It had been necessary to call him to account for his error, no matter how touched she was by his motives. Afterward, Kathryn had felt vastly relieved that they'd gotten past that business to more pleasant and familiar ground – relieved, that is, until Chakotay had floored her with his softly spoken question. Somehow, she'd managed to get past that too with a modicum of wit still about her, and had gone on to discuss the day's proceedings with him.

The second day had found her plagued by a sense of restlessness and distracted by unformed yearnings, which she'd immediately attributed to her lack of coffee. Kathryn felt grateful for Tuvok's Vulcan stoicism during the negotiations; while his presence hadn't quite calmed her, it _had_ provided an anchor to help her to focus on her work. It wasn't until that evening, when an overwhelming feeling of serenity and rightness washed over her as she'd talked with Chakotay about the mission, that she'd realized she had subconsciously been missing her First Officer all day.

During the third day of the mission, the paradox that was Chakotay was brought to the forefront of her mind - when mere thoughts of her First Officer had not only caused Kathryn's imagination to wander into inappropriate areas, but had also provided her with the steadiness to endure the exacting formalities of the final session and the ceremonial banquet that followed. After the banquet, it seemed that she couldn't get to the transporter coordinates soon enough to get back to Voyager…and to _him_.

"Captain," Tuvok's voice broke into her musings. "It's almost 21:00. At what time would you like us to meet and debrief?"

Kathryn looked at her Security Chief, embarrassed to have been caught woolgathering. "It's late, gentlemen, and I think we've all been through enough today. I certainly don't feel up to going over all this tonight. Why don't we hold off on that debriefing until tomorrow morning? Say 9:00, in my ready room."

"Aye, Captain," the away team responded in not-quite perfect unison.

"And good job, gentlemen. I'll see you in the morning."

"Captain?" Neelix asked as she picked up her bags and stepped down from the transporter pad.

"Yes, Neelix?" Kathryn said, turning to look at him.

"Could I interest you in something from the galley before you retire? I'm sure I could whip up a pot of coffee for you, if you'd like," the Talaxian offered eagerly.

Kathryn smiled at her morale officer's thoughtfulness, even at this late hour and after such an exhausting day. She really hated to disappoint him, but at that moment, the only thing she'd _really_ like was _not_ available from the galley. "No, but thank you, Neelix. You must be tired and I'd hate to put you to all that trouble. If I need anything later on, I'll just get it from the replicator."

"Are you sure, Captain? It would be no trouble at all," Neelix pressed.

Kathryn shook her head. "No, but thanks again." At seeing the crestfallen expression on Neelix's face, she quickly added, "I'll tell you what, though. I sure could use a cup of coffee to get through the debriefing tomorrow morning. Could you bring one along with you?"

Kathryn almost laughed as Voyager's morale officer clapped his hands and bounced on his toes in delight. "Absolutely, Captain!" Neelix exclaimed. "I'll bring a whole pot, if you like! It would be my pleasure!"

Kathryn shook her head. "A cup will be fine, Neelix. Thanks. See you then. Good night, gentlemen", she said to all before stepping through the doors of the transporter room. As she walked down the corridor to the turbolift, she pondered Neelix's unflappable good nature and his unceasing devotion to keeping his captain well-caffeinated. Kathryn wondered what his reaction would be to the news that something other than the prospect of coffee was uppermost in her thoughts that night.

As Kathryn reached the turbolift, she was halted by the sound of rapid footsteps headed in her direction. _Oh lord, was that Talaxian _ever_ going to give up?_

"Captain! A moment, if you please?" To her surprise, it was Lieutenant Ayala's voice that rang through the corridor.

Kathryn turned to face the Security officer. "Yes, Lieutenant?"

Ayala slowed his stride and came to a stop in front of her, a distinctly uncomfortable but determined expression upon his face. His eyes flashed away from her questioning stare and he took a deep breath as if preparing himself to deliver some unwelcome news, then reached into his bag. He rummaged around for a few seconds and said, "Captain, I don't know if you're going to think this is inappropriate or impertinent or what, but…" He trailed off as he pulled two foil pouches out of his bag and held them out in Kathryn's direction.

Kathryn's eyes widened as she gazed down at the familiar pouches clasped in Ayala's hand, the pouches identical to the one he had given to her that first morning on Semalfon. "The qahwa?" she managed to ask past the sudden lump in her throat.

"Aye, Captain," Ayala replied. "Neelix had three pouches of it, one for each day. When the Commander found out about your reaction, he asked me to keep the rest of it hidden until the mission was over." When Kathryn remained silent, Ayala added quietly, "He never told me what to do with them when we got back to Voyager, Captain...but I know he really wanted you to have them."

Without lifting her gaze, Kathryn reached out and took the pouches from Ayala, gently curling her fingers around them as they rested in the palm of her hand.

She was deeply moved at this confirmation of Chakotay's care and concern, and of the loyalty that her dear First Officer inspired in others - and unaccountably felt like crying. When she finally looked up at Ayala, it was with a watery smile. "Still watching the Commander's back, Lieutenant?"

"Always. And yours, Captain."

Kathryn nodded at Ayala's statement, highly conscious of the honor the former Maquis officer had just given her. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

"You're welcome, Captain. Good night," Ayala said before turning and retracing his steps down the corridor. Kathryn watched him for a few seconds before hitting the button to summon the turbolift. When it arrived, she stepped inside for the short trip up to Deck 3.

Once on Deck 3, Kathryn walked slowly to her quarters. As she passed the entrance to Chakotay's quarters, she paused and stared at the door panel. She recalled Neelix's offer back in the transporter room. _To hell with coffee_, the heretical thought flashed across her mind. The only thing she'd _really_ like was behind that door. But was it available? Dare she find out?

Kathryn sighed and walked on to her own quarters. "Computer, illumination 50 percent," she said as she stepped through the door and made her way through the half-light to her bedroom. She carefully placed the foil pouches on top of her dresser, dropped her bags at the foot of her bed and flopped down onto the mattress. She lay on her back, hands resting on her stomach, and stared at the ceiling for a moment before closing her eyes.

Scenes with Chakotay in the past floated before her mind's eye - and with every moment she relived, she felt more drawn to him than before. In her ready room, putting his trust in her as he solemnly agreed to join his crew with hers. On the upper level of Engineering, grinning at her as he asked whether she'd have served under him. In the shelter on New Earth, offering his heart as he told her a story of friendship and devotion and peace.

_Offering his heart…_ Kathryn's eyes flew open. He _had_ offered his heart to her back on New Earth, and in the only way he'd known she could accept it at the time. In her fear and confusion, she'd eventually rejected his gift, just as her anger and confusion had caused her to reject his gift of coffee down on Semalfon. He'd withdrawn the coffee, as he'd withdrawn his heart, and kept it hidden until it was safe to bring out again. Kathryn rolled her head to the side to look at the foil pouches on her dresser. The coffee had come back to her; she'd held it in the palm of her hand. Had Chakotay's heart come back to her as well?

If it had, Kathryn was determined not to let the twin specters of protocol and ship's welfare get in her way again. She'd used them as crutches too many times before; after New Earth, she'd used them to prop up her fear in order to push Chakotay away. _And for what?_ Kathryn couldn't remember a good reason anymore. The command team's already close relationship hadn't done anything but help Voyager so far. And if she and Chakotay could work through the horrible, morale-crushing days following the Equinox disaster - to help the crew and to find each other again as a command team and as friends - then certainly no minor lover's spat had the power to destroy them _or_ the ship.

"Computer, where is Commander Chakotay?" Kathryn asked, sitting up on her bed.

"_Commander Chakotay is in his quarters,"_ the computer's calm, even voice replied.

"Is he asleep?"

_"Negative. The Commander's vital signs indicate that he is awake."_

_It's now or never, Kathryn…_

With a sudden burst of resolve, Kathryn leapt off the bed, grabbed the foil pouches from the dresser and headed out of her quarters – determined to answer her First Officer's question and to find out a few answers of her own…

_TBC…_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** This chapter was a hard one to write, as I felt a special responsibility to get it just right – and I am a particularly tough beta on myself.

The delay in posting is partly due to constant reviewing of what I'd already written – and stepping away from the story for a day or two when the ideas weren't flowing. The delay is also due to the fact that I felt the epilogue for this story needed to be posted at the same time.

_**Feedback welcome!**_

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"…_This officer has consistently performed above expectations in most areas. She can be counted upon to show up for her shifts on time and to perform her work in a diligent manner. She displays a thorough knowledge of the skills necessary for her position and a heightened awareness of her responsibilities not only to her department, but also to her fellow crewmembers. She is not afraid to challenge her superiors when she feels strongly about something, but always does so in an appropriate manner. However, this officer has shown little inclination to avail herself of opportunities to expand her knowledge into other areas within her department, which could only serve to make her an even more valuable asset to Voyager…"_

Chakotay sat at the console in his quarters and stared at the words on the screen until they started to blur into vague images that barely resembled language. He rubbed his eyes, then yawned and leaned back in his chair, arching his back and stretching his sore shoulder muscles against the back of the chair in which he'd been sitting for hours. Spirits, but he dreaded crew evaluation time each year! Fortunately, this year's round of reports was nearly done with; just a few more before he could dump the whole mess in Kathryn's lap for _her_ to deal with and he'd be a free man. Well, free until Kathryn called him with a question about this officer or that enlisted crewman – and he'd end up back in her ready room anyway, going over all of the reports again. Not that he begrudged any time spent with Kathryn, but he could think of quite a few things he'd rather be doing with her than crew evaluations.

A sudden rumbling of his stomach reminded Chakotay that not only had he been working for hours, but he'd also missed dinner. With all of the times that he'd tweaked Kathryn about doing the same thing in the past, he was glad she wasn't around to catch him this time. He'd never hear the end of it!

Chakotay saved the report currently on his screen and closed it out, then stood up from his desk and walked over to the replicator. "Bowl of mushroom soup and two slices of wheat bread," he requested. When the items materialized, he took them over to his dining table and sat down to eat. As he tore a corner from one of the slices to dip it into his soup, he wondered what Kathryn was eating at the ceremonial banquet that night. Or _was_ she eating? With all of the required pomp attached to a Semalfonees banquet, he'd actually be surprised if she'd gotten two bites down all night.

At that thought, Chakotay wondered if Kathryn was back from her diplomatic ordeal yet. It was late – more than halfway through Beta shift – how long could those exacting, self-important bureaucrats take to get through what should be a simple goodbye dinner? Before he could ask the computer for Kathryn's whereabouts though, the sound of the door chime echoed through his living area.

-----

After pushing the button, Kathryn breathed out a heavy puff of air and tapped her clenched hands against her hips as she stood in the corridor waiting for Chakotay to come to the door. She looked down as she bounced on the balls of her feet, then turned her head both left and right to see if anybody was coming down the corridor to catch her standing outside her First Officer's quarters. Every nervous second that she waited there felt like an eternity and Kathryn could feel her previous resolve starting to slip away. She was on the verge of succumbing to her nerves and running back to her quarters when she heard the door slide open.

Kathryn whipped her head around and froze as she locked eyes with the cause of her unease. Chakotay stood there in his doorway, looking comfortable and oh so attractive in a plain, loose-fitting T-shirt and sweatpants that provided a stark contrast to the heavy, restrictive dress uniform that she'd neglected to change out of in her hurry to see him. He raised an eyebrow upon noticing her costume and teased, "If I'd known this was a formal visit, Captain, I'd have worn something nicer."

"It's not official," she managed to croak despite the sudden dryness of her throat. "Are you busy?"

"No, not busy at all. Come on in," Chakotay smiled as he stepped aside to allow her to enter.

"Thanks," she replied stiffly and walked past him into the living area. She stopped near his couch and paused to gather a measure of courage before turning around. _You've faced the Kazon and the Borg and who knows what else out here…you can _certainly_ face your best friend. You can _do_ this, Kathryn!_

After the door closed, Chakotay followed Kathryn into the room. "Did you just get back?" he asked as he came up beside her.

"A few minutes ago. I hope you don't mind that I stopped by. I know it's late…I'm sorry…" she started to apologize.

"Don't be," Chakotay interrupted, shaking his head. "You're welcome to stop by anytime." He felt Kathryn tense up as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and wondered what was bothering her. "You do know that, don't you?"

Kathryn bobbed her head. "Yeah, I know, I guess. It's just that I…well…I don't want you to think I'm taking it _too_ much for granted," she said anxiously. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, not a thing," Chakotay assured her. "I was just taking a break from crew evaluations. Here, why don't you sit down?" he added, gesturing toward the couch.

"What? You're not done with those _yet_?" Kathryn asked as she followed his suggestion. At Chakotay's wry grin, she chuckled weakly. "How many do you have left to do?"

"Just a few. Mostly senior staff. Paris, Tuvok, Neelix…" Chakotay replied as he joined her on the couch.

"I hope you give Neelix a really good evaluation this time around," Kathryn recommended. "Maybe even a promotion."

"Well, that last part's up to the Captain - but if you like, I'm sure I could rustle up a medal for service above and beyond."

Kathryn favored Chakotay with a wan smile in response but said nothing. Chakotay noted her rigid posture as she sat on the couch and felt his curiosity deepen into concern. Something wasn't right. She was avoiding his gaze; instead, her eyes were darting all around the room as if she was looking for a means of escape. It seemed that she couldn't wait to get away from him, and yet _she_ was the one who had come to his quarters in the first place.

"Kathryn?"

"Hmm?"

"Was there something you wanted?"

"What? Can't a girl spend a little time with her best friend without wanting something?" Kathryn giggled.

_Kathryn giggled?_ Chakotay's concern grew. Kathryn didn't giggle. She laughed, she chuckled, but he had never heard her utter that kind of high-pitched sound since…since that night before going over to Unimatrix Zero. Before going over to be assimilated by the Borg. They had had dinner the night before that horribly dangerous mission, and at first Kathryn had put on a brave face, giggling all the while - until she had finally broken down in front of him and confessed how utterly scared she was. Not of dying – of surrendering so totally, of losing herself so completely…and of not being able to come back from it. Did Kathryn have a similar fear now?

Kathryn's glance continued to bounce around the quarters until she noticed the bowl and bread sitting on Chakotay's dining table. She turned to him and said accusingly, "You said I wasn't interrupting anything."

"Just a little mushroom soup, that's all. I'm sure you must have had much finer dishes down at the banquet."

Kathryn snorted. "Their dishes were about as appetizing as their tea. The only good thing I can say about the banquet is eventually it was over."

"Care to join me in a late-night snack, then?" Chakotay asked, getting up from the couch to walk over to the replicator. "Soup? Salad? Sandwich? Perhaps some coffee instead?"

At the last question, Kathryn drew in a sharp breath and felt her tension rise. She squeezed the packets of qahwa that she still held in her hand. She brought her hand up to rest in her lap and stared at the tightly clenched fingers. Ayala's words ran through her mind. _"…I know he really wanted you to have them…he really wanted you to…he really wanted you…wanted you…"_

Kathryn gazed up at Chakotay, who had paused at the replicator controls to look back at her when she didn't respond to his questions.

"Kathryn, what is it?"

"You didn't tell me there was more," she said quietly.

"More what?"

"Of this, for one thing," Kathryn replied, holding out her hand and opening her fingers to reveal the two foil packets.

Chakotay's eyes widened as he stared at the objects, then lifted to look directly into hers. "You weren't supposed to find out about those," he said grimly. "Ayala…"

"…Didn't give them to me until just a few minutes ago, back here on the ship. He was very discreet."

Chakotay contemplated that for a moment before asking, "You're not still angry with me, are you?" He ducked his head to the side and tugged on his earlobe, finding sudden fascination with a spot on the carpeting.

Kathryn smiled inwardly, comforted by Chakotay's own unease. "The _Captain_ isn't happy," she said, watching him wince, "but then the Captain isn't here. Kathryn is, and…" She trailed off, trying to come up with the right words. When Chakotay looked up at her silence, she smiled nervously at the mix of confusion and hope she saw in his eyes. "…And _I_ couldn't be more touched if you'd built me another bathtub. Thank you."

Kathryn's breath caught at the warmth and affection that flared in Chakotay's gaze at the mention of his gift to her on New Earth. "Not that I'd have a place to put it anyway," she sighed, "so I guess I'll settle for that cup of coffee." She lifted the hand that held the two qahwa packets. "Have one with me?"

Chakotay didn't trust his voice to answer her, so he merely smiled and nodded and turned back to the replicator. Somehow he managed to ask the computer for two cups of hot water and a spoon, which he brought over and placed on the table by the couch before sitting back down beside Kathryn. He took the packets from her hand, his fingertips grazing her palm as he did so – causing her to shiver and his mouth to go dry. He quietly prepared their coffee; the only sound in the room was the light clinking of the spoon against the sides of the cups as he stirred the instant qahwa into the hot water. When he was done, Chakotay silently handed her one of the cups and picked the other one up for himself, holding it reverently between his palms.

They didn't drink right away. They sat on the couch, frozen in position, holding their cups and gazing into each other's eyes for a few timeless moments – neither one willing to break the fragile spell to take the first sip. The intoxicating aroma of the coffee surrounded them and Kathryn breathed in deeply and slowly, savoring it, letting it wash over her – keeping her eyes on Chakotay, letting him see her enjoyment, sharing it with him.

"You know," Kathryn finally managed to whisper into the silence, "if one of us doesn't take a drink soon, this stuff is going to go cold."

"What a waste that would be," Chakotay whispered back.

"A tragedy," Kathryn agreed.

"So what should we do?"

"Well, we should drink it, but I…I don't want to be drinking it alone."

"Then we'll drink it together. You're not alone, Kathryn."

Kathryn felt her eyes tear up and her chest tighten at Chakotay's words. "I never have been, have I?"

Chakotay shook his head. "Not since the day we met."

Kathryn didn't trust her voice to answer him, so she merely smiled and nodded and lifted her cup to her face as Chakotay did the same with his. Then they locked eyes and took the first sip together, and Kathryn almost swooned. Never - _never!_ - had anything tasted as good. Every other cup of coffee she'd ever had paled by comparison - even the pleasure produced by the previous cups of qahwa couldn't touch the euphoric maelstrom of taste and sensation and emotion that were now swirling madly through her body. She nearly dropped her cup in shock.

Chakotay felt a similar shock at the devastatingly pleasurable assault on his senses from that first sip, but was able to maintain enough of a hold on his cup to place it safely on the table. Noting Kathryn's stunned expression (which he was sure mirrored his own) and her shaky grip, he reached over to take the cup from her hand and placed it down beside his own. Then he wrapped his hands around hers and squeezed lightly as his eyes studied her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Kathryn opened her mouth to speak but could not find words adequate to describe how she was feeling. Instead she nodded and squeezed his hands in reassurance. As she moved her head, Chakotay noticed a little trickle of brew trailing down from the corner of her mouth towards her chin. He freed one of his hands to reach up and cup her chin, stilling her movement as he captured the drop in his palm.

Kathryn smiled gently at him and murmured, "I think we've been here before."

Chakotay smiled back at the memory. "I think you're right."

"So you know what I'm going to do now."

"I have an idea…yes."

Kathryn searched his eyes, floored by how plainly she could see Chakotay's heart reflected there – then tilted her head and kissed the coffee from his palm, allowing her lips to linger a second or two before looking back up at him.

Chakotay basked in the glow of Kathryn's gaze, floored by the depth of emotion she was allowing him to see there. "Yes, that's about what I expected. But you're right, Kathryn." At her questioning expression, he added, "I _didn't_ tell you there was more."

"More what?"

"More that I wanted to give you back there in the ready room." With that, Chakotay leaned forward and kissed the coffee trail from her chin, following the line up her face to the corner of her mouth, allowing his lips to linger a second or two before leaning back to look at her.

His heart skipped a beat at the blissful expression on Kathryn's face – and nearly stopped altogether when she sprang forward to bury her face against his neck and throw her arms around his shoulders. Chakotay froze in a moment of surprise, then wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her closer. As he waited for his heart to regain its rhythm, he contemplated the wonder in his grasp. Never – _never!_ – had anything felt as good as the warmth of Kathryn's body pressed against his, the softness of her hair pressed against his cheek, the moisture of her tears trickling down his neck…

_Tears?_ Chakotay gently clasped the side of Kathryn's head and pulled her slightly away so he could look into her eyes. "Kathryn?"

"It's nothing like I expected, but everything I ever dreamed of," Kathryn gasped between sobs. "I just didn't know it could be so…so…so wonderful. And to think I almost missed it because…because I was afraid to…to…"

"To what?"

"To love you."

"Kathryn?" Chakotay asked hesitantly, hardly daring to believe what he was hearing.

"I love you, Chakotay."

Chakotay gasped in wonderment and felt tears threatening in his own eyes. He didn't realize that he'd actually started to cry until he felt Kathryn's gentle fingers against his cheek, wiping the moisture away. He grasped her hand fiercely and kissed her fingertips.

"Spirits, how I love you, Kathryn."

"I know," she said with a watery smile. "I should have known sooner, but…"

"…But you weren't ready. _We_ weren't ready."

"Why are we ready _now_? What's different? We're still on Voyager, we're still too many light years from home, we…" Kathryn was halted by the press of Chakotay's fingers against her mouth.

"Maybe that's what's different. Maybe we're already home."

"How can you say that? We've still got to…" She was halted again by his fingers.

"Get back to the Alpha Quadrant. Yes, I agree," Chakotay interrupted. "But _we_…" he said, gesturing between the two of them, "we're already home."

"But…" Kathryn started to protest.

"Kathryn," Chakotay said softly, smiling at her stubbornness. "Do you really want to analyze a miracle?"

Kathryn drank in the mix of love and friendship and support she saw in his warm brown eyes and felt the last of her fears slip away. "No…no, I don't," she relented. "I want you."

Kathryn placed her hands on either side of Chakotay's face, then leaned forward and tenderly captured his mouth with her own, stealing his breath as she'd stolen his heart. Chakotay moved his lips softly against hers in response, sharing the kiss with her but allowing her to take the lead. He uttered an approving moan as her kisses grew more confident and insistent, and he restrained the urge to crush her against him and ravage her mouth. Instead, he placed his hands at her hips and held on until a desperate need for oxygen forced them to break apart, gasping for air.

"Wow," Chakotay said with a satisfied grin, once they'd recovered. "If that's what I can expect from now on, you've _got_ me, Kathryn."

"I've _already_ got you, you big lug," Kathryn smiled, punching him lightly on the arm before sliding her hands down and wrapping her arms around his waist. Chakotay wrapped one arm around her shoulders, rested his cheek against her hair and leaned back until the two of them were resting against the cushions.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Chakotay murmured, "You know, I could get used to this."

"Well, that's good - because Neelix _was_ right."

"About what?"

"I _do_ have plenty of hugs left for you," Kathryn said, squeezing him gently. "Enough for a lifetime."

As the new couple kissed again, the two cups of room-temperature coffee sat forgotten on Chakotay's table.

_TBC…_


	8. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Captain Janeway and Chakotay...more's the pity.

**Notes:** I hope you've enjoyed reading this story. I've certainly enjoyed the challenge of writing it, expanding a story that was originally _much_ shorter. And now? Now it's so hard to let go – no more proofreading, no more revisions, no more plotting. However, one rule of good writing and editing is to know when to stop.

Thanks for the support and encouragement!

_**Feedback welcome anytime!**_

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Something was different that morning.

Neelix stood in the ready room, watching the command team as he waited for the debriefing on the Semalfonees trade mission. The two officers stood near the head of the table, talking to each other – the Captain touching the Commander's arm as she made a point, the Commander shaking his head and smiling in response.

It was nothing they hadn't done hundreds of times before. Their behavior hadn't changed. But Neelix could tell. Something was different. Something was…right.

Neelix was delighted. It was all working out perfectly…

"_I trust, Mr. Neelix, that you've had a chance to look over the list of fruits and vegetables that we have available for trade," the Tsal agriculture minister said as he reached forward and grabbed a handful of dark berries from a bowl on his desk._

"_Oh yes, the selection is most impressive, Minister Jajo. I've gone over the list with our Doctor and I'm sure that we'll be able to…" Neelix faltered as he noticed the minister tossing a berry up in the air and catching it in his mouth._

_Minister Jajo looked at Neelix and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I just really like qahwa berries. My mate says I overindulge, but I don't think she really means it. She eats almost as many as I do."_

"_Qahwa berries? They weren't on the list."_

_"Oh no," the minister shook his head. "It's a special Tsal delicacy. We don't usually offer it for trade, but you're welcome to try one. I assure you, it's perfectly safe."_

_Neelix put one in his mouth and grimaced at the bitter flavor. It tasted just like that horrible coffee beverage that Captain Janeway was always drinking._

_Minister Jajo nearly laughed aloud at the expression on Neelix's face. "I'm sorry, Mr. Neelix. I should have expected that reaction from you. After all, we are not bonding."_

"_I beg your pardon?"_

"_Certain aphrodisiacal properties of the qahwa berry have made it quite valuable to us here on Tsal. Our bonding ceremonies revolve around the consumption of the berry by the mated pair, who also find it handy to have around afterwards to…ease any lingering tensions in the bedchamber."_

"_Does it create the bond?" Neelix asked._

"_No, no, it merely strengthens it," Minister Jajo assured him. "Qahwa cannot create what is not there already – otherwise, you and I would be in a rather awkward position right now."_

_"What would happen if you brewed the berry – made it into a beverage? Would that destroy its effect?"_

_Minister Jajo looked at Neelix in surprise. "No, but why go through the wait and bother? Pick it off the bush, pop it in your mouth, and you're done."_

_"Does it work on other species?"_

_"Considering its unusual properties, it's not normally offered to outsiders – but all who have tried it have reported a similar effect. Why do you ask?"_

"_Well," Neelix leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, "I have someone in mind who could definitely use a little help in this area, and qahwa might be just the answer. Can we talk?"…_

"I don't know what was in that coffee, Neelix, but it doesn't seem to have done any harm," Ayala commented softly, breaking into the Talaxian's reverie.

Neelix turned around quickly. The Security officer looked at him with a calm, indecipherable expression. "What…what was that, Mr. Ayala?" Neelix fumbled.

"The coffee? It seems to me that someone who was trying to hide a few small pouches in his bag would have done that while packing in the privacy of his own quarters – not out in the open in the middle of the transporter room. Unless someone _wanted_ to get caught."

"You don't say," Neelix replied, glancing over at Commander Chakotay.

"How important was it that the coffee appeared to come from him?"

Neelix looked back at Ayala, wondering how much to tell him. "Very," he replied cautiously. "It makes all the difference."

Neelix was surprised to see a small grin creep up on Ayala's lips. "I think we may have vastly underestimated you, Neelix. You would have been quite an asset to the Maquis."

"You're not going to tell them, are you?" Neelix asked worriedly, looking back at the command team.

Ayala followed the path of Neelix's gaze and shook his head. "Not as long as they're happy."

"They will be, Mr. Ayala. I think we _all_ will."

_The End_


End file.
